a background daemon reads your Stripe or Polar, judges your revenue, and pushes a fresh AI roast to your phone every morning. for 365 days. it does not sleep. it does not forgive.
No email you'll ignore. No dashboard you'll never open. Add mrrsucks to your home screen once, and every morning at 07:00 the day's roast lands as a push notification — right next to your texts. On iPhone and Android.
No subscription, no trial, no graceful exit. You're buying a year of being told the truth, one-time.
The daemon reads MRR, churn, and new customers from Stripe or Polar. It never touches your money — it just judges it harshly.
Every morning a PWA notification hits your lock screen with a fresh roast built from real numbers. No snooze.
real roasts from real founders. names changed to protect the embarrassed. the worse the numbers, the better the output.
Every project exposes a public page at mrrsucks.com/you/project — your numbers, your streak of being broke, your worst roasts. All rendered, all shareable.
Post it on Twitter. Tag a friend who's also pre-revenue. It's the most honest "building in public" post you'll ever make — and you didn't even write it.
$9 is roughly your MRR anyway. Might as well spend it on accountability.
meaner. the AI scales savagery to your numbers — the worse you're doing, the harder it goes. you can dial it down to 'gentle disappointment' in settings, but let's be honest, you won't.
read-only access, two clicks, revoke anytime. we pull MRR, churn, and new customers — that's it. we will never touch, move, or even compliment your money. you can also connect Polar if that's your thing.
because a subscription would mean your MRR funds our MRR, and the irony would take us both out. one project, $9, one year. want more pain? add another project.
there's nothing to cancel — it's a one-time payment. but if you email us within 14 days and say please, we'll refund you. no daemon judges you for quitting. (it will, privately.)
your public page stays live forever. roasts stop. renew for $9 if you want more pain. or don't — your shame endpoint remains as a monument to the year you tried.
yes, but you hold the switch. flip it private if you're a coward, or share the link and let the internet watch you suffer in real time. the brave ones go viral.
then the daemon switches to backhanded compliments and reminds you it could all collapse tomorrow. nobody escapes. the binary is named mrrsucks for a reason.
$9. 365 roasts. one public endpoint of pure shame. ship it, pre-revenue king.